Saturday, May 2, 2009
Relationship
As I said in one of my last posts I met Danny when I was 16yrs old and he was 20. We started dating not long after we met. He was nice, caring, funny and I liked being with him. About 6 months after we started dating I found out I was pregnant. I was excited but more scared than anything. Danny and I get an apartment together and start living our life. Our relationship was good and he took care of me. We had our fights just like every other relationship does, but we always worked things out. I had my son in Dec of '00. When my son was about 5 months old I found out I was pregnant again. I was excited and hoped for a little girl. My wish came true and in Feb of '02 I had my daughter. My son was very good with his new little sister. He always gave her lots of kisses. It was so sweet and always made me smile. I was lucky enough to be able to stay at home and take care of my kids because Danny had a good job. I was only 18 and it was hard, but I did it. After being in the house all day and taking care of 2 kids, you have to get out of the house once in awhile and have some "you" time. Well that was a problem for Danny. I would ask to go to the store, just so I could get out of the house. He would always be like, "what for you don't have any money"? I just wanted to go walk around the damn store. I didn't think anything was wrong with that! Things between Danny and I just kept getting worse. Our fights turned into him throwing things at me e.g. Coffee Table. I felt like I was trapped in the house and not able to do anything. I just wanted to have "me" time! Things weren't getting any better! I didn't want to keep myself in a situation like that. I didn't know what to do though. I didn't have money or a job. Where was I going to live? Well I decided the best thing to do was to leave. Unfortunately the best thing to do was to leave the kids with Danny. He was a good dad, had a good job, and had a roof to keep over their heads. I didn't want to leave them, but I didn't want them to see us fighting all the time. When I moved out, I slept in my car, stayed at my friends. It was hard and I hated it so much. I just wanted to be with my kids. I have no job, no money, no stable place to live. I'm pretty much homeless at this point. What the hell was I suppose to do???
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I went through almost the same thing after I had my daughter. It was real hard but ever since I started going back to school things have been so much better. For about 4 years I was stuck in the house every single day, I didn't have a license, a car or a job so I couldn't go anywhere and even when I would go out I would have really bad panic attacks. I totally understand how you felt and I wanted to tell you that I think you're so strong for the decision that you made, it's one that I could never get myself to do even though I knew it was the best thing for me at the time.
ReplyDeleteIt was very hard and I had to be really strong about it. I didn't want to leave my kids. They are my ♥. I didn't want them to grow up with their parents fighting all the time. That's not healthy. I just want the best for them in life. Thankfully they have a wonderful father!
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